Deciding to Let My Hair Go Gray

My journey of trials and tribulations of letting my hair go gray and being natural.

My journey of trials and tribulations of letting my hair go gray and being natural.

I’ve been coloring my hair now for 20 years ever since I found my first gray hair back in my late 30’s. I know so many women embrace their gray hair, but I just couldn’t let that happen.

My journey of trials and tribulations of letting my hair go gray and being natural.

You see, I was raised in my mom’s beauty shop and watched how she made sure her clients gray was never a problem for them. Her sister was a beautician also and they would “frost” each other’s hair to cover their own gray as you can see in the picture above of my mom.

The Word “Old”:

My journey of trials and tribulations of letting my hair go gray and being natural.

The truth was I couldn’t deal with gray hair showing up on my really dark brown hair because gray meant “old” to me. I wasn’t ready to show the world I was getting older.

Fast forward 20 years later when I finally came to a decision. I had been thinking of doing this for several months and kept putting it off. But, I then realized it was time to let my natural self shine through.

I was so tired of my hair breaking off and finding it everywhere in the house, being brittle and dry, making sure my schedule worked around coloring my hair and buying all those products. And I really don’t want to think about all the chemicals I’ve been putting on my skin for 20 years!

I realized that gray hair doesn’t make me old. I make myself old! I’m healthy, workout often, keep active, and really love living life right now. I just needed to change my mindset of the word “old”.

Just like everything else I do in my life, I did a lot of research. I also joined a Facebook group called Silver Revolution. So much support from women going through the same thing I am with tons of before and after pictures. 

My journey of trials and tribulations of letting my hair go gray and being natural.

I have to admit, that I did shed a few tears the day before I went to my stylist. I felt like part of me was going to die the next day. My dark brown hair has been a part of my life for so many years and now that was about to change. I was losing an “old” friend but gaining so much more.

The Process:

My journey of trials and tribulations of letting my hair go gray and being natural.

Since I wear my hair in a short pixie style, it wouldn’t take long to grow out my hair. I let it grow out for 2 months and went to my stylist for some highlights and a shorter pixie. I wasn’t ready to go cold turkey because the demarcation line would be really noticeable from dark brown hair to gray. She gave me just a few highlights which really blended in my hair nicely and hid the line. My next cut was 6 weeks later which was when I decided to go really short.

Then……the pandemic started and I wasn’t able to get my hair cut for the next 12 weeks. The third picture above shows my hair a few days before my next hair cut. My hair was really long in the back and so wavy. I couldn’t wait to get it cut. The day I went for my haircut, my stylist didn’t recognize me with all that hair and because it was so gray.

Even though I am doing this process for me, we still present ourselves to others and I was hoping this wasn’t going to be a shock to everyone. You know what I mean? When you see someone for the first time after a big change and see their eyes get really big or they are at a loss for words? But I was so wrong! Nothing but wonderful support from all my friends and family. I’ve even inspired other women to follow suit.

Taking Care of My Gray Hair:

I have very coarse wavy hair and coloring did help tame that. Living in an area where the humidity is high most of the year was only going to make my hair more frizzy and poofy.


I’ve been using John Frieda’s Frizz Ease Straight Fixation Styling Creme and Daily Nourishment Conditioner for many years now. Both these products really work well on the frizzy and kinky hair issues my short hair has now that it’s gray. I rub the styling cream throughout my hair after I wash it. You can either blow dry or naturally let your hair dry. 

I was advised by my beautician and others who also have gray hair that the MATRIX Total Results So Silver Color Depositing Purple Shampoo is the best choice for shampoo. Purple shampoo is a must to keep your gray from turning yellow. I wash my hair once a week with this shampoo and let it sit on my hair for about 5 minutes to strip the oil and sweat buildup. This shampoo also helped the colored part of my hair slowly lighten and blend in better during the grow-out time.

Matrix also carries products for blond hair to keep it from becoming brassy. 

My journey of trials and tribulations of letting my hair go gray and being natural.

In the end my take on it all:

I’ve never been happier!! I feel a sense of release that I don’t have to hide a part of me that’s been wanting to be seen.

I love to swim and would never put my colored hair in the pool because I was afraid the chlorine would bleach it out or make it brassy.

And how about all the money I will be saving on not having to buy products to color my hair with. I had to buy two tubes of a salon version of hair color which is much more expensive because the box type wouldn’t color my coarse thick hair. Plus the processor, etc. 

Tammy-My Life Abundant

Have any of you taken the plunge and let your gray grow out? I’d love to hear your story.

Is it really worth cutting the cord? Learn from our experience and how its really easy to do.
Learn how to save money on groceries while keeping your budget on track the easy way.
Saving money in everyday life is easier than you think and who doesn't love to have extra money when it's really needed. 



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  1. I found my first gray hair when I was 20. lol Good for you for deciding to embrace your gray!

  2. You look great! I might eventually do this. My hair started to get grays at 19 thanks to genetics. I might give it until I’m 45 or so and then quite dyeing it.

  3. I think you look great! I believe that gray hair can look wonderful on many. I think you can really pull it off too.

  4. Your hair color and cut is beautiful! My husband turned almost fully grey by 30.

  5. Me, I found my first gray hair when I was in high school, I am worried at first because they said that I am going to be an old woman. I learn to embrace, accept and being happy of having it because it’s already part of my life. I am so happy for you deciding to embrace your gray hair. Remember we are still pretty wearing our gray hair.

  6. I’m imagining in myself with that grey color and I think I’m gonna like it. I need to try it or I ask my husband too.

  7. It suits you! I am starting to have my gray hair and I will be going full gray when time comes.

  8. You look very good and modern. It’s something that suits you a lot. I don’t know if it will work for me too!

  9. I love it! It looks great on you, it really fits you. I think it is nice to take a break from hair dying and maintenance.

  10. You look amazing! I am so glad that you have embraced the new you! Both John Frieda’s Frizz Ease Straight Fixation Styling Creme and Daily Nourishment Conditioner sound like amazing products.

  11. you look amazing, glad that you are embracing the gray hair, I have gray hair, but it is long hair so I used storebought hair color. May be in few years I will follow your suit. Those products looks really nice products.

  12. Our hair color and texture are similar, I think. I began to Gray in College, so I never really considered coloring my hair. Like you, I enjoy the freedom of self-acceptance and let my age speak for itself, not just with my hair color, but the whole package.

  13. Well, you now have to change your profile photo. Personally I think the ‘grayed’ version is more attractive as the dark hair was well, too dark for your skin. Part of the aging process is our skin changes just as drastically as our hair. I know I had to adjust my ‘blondness’ which I have been doing for 53 years. Now streaks of white, simply make it look ‘highlighted’, but i have gone to a softer color over the years, more inline with my skintones. The most important thing, we have to please ourselves, but, I think you look FAB! Sandi

    1. Haha…Changing my profile pic was one fo the first things I thought of after the post went live. I’m wanting to go back to the same place I did my profile pic at, but its SO hot here in Florida right now, I will wait until it cools down to go there to take new pictures. I’ve had other people say they think the new color of my hair works well with my fair skin color. I am really enjoying my hair now and thank you so much for the kind words.

  14. Once we moved to the homestead, I found it a pain to color my hair. I didn’t work anymore, so I took the plunge the following summer. I have longer hair so it took over a year to get it grown out. My hair is lighter in the front and darker in the back and underneath. I’m used to it now but on occasion I still dream that I color it! After all that effort to get it grown out! Yikes!
    Enjoy your new found freedom!
    Melissa | Little Frugal Homestead

  15. You look very pretty!

    I am also allowing my grey hair to grow in during this ‘safer at home” time. I was going to wait a few more years but since it is summer, and I can wear my hair up in a ponytail so the color change does not look too dramatic, I decided I might as well let the process begin.

  16. How I love this post. And your vibrant new look. I truly think you look younger, spunkier and hipper with your natural color and that great cut. I have been on the path to going gray for 11 months. It has been a long haul! But I am about to make it. I haven’t wanted to cut my hair really short because I have read that a drastic change of hair style along with the return to natural hair color can be overwhelming. So my hair has remained shoulder length. I have one more cut and I should be au natural!! I am loving it and so glad you are embracing the new you, too!!

    1. Thanks so much Leslie. It helped to have very short hair and the time would only be a few months and then Covid hit and I basically didn’t leave the house, which helped also. I was afraid going gray was going to be overwhelming but it went better than I thought.

  17. I love it and hate to say it but I think you look YOUNGER with your natural hair. The dark hair looked unnatural and harsh on your skin tone. You rock it!!

    1. Thank you so much! I am really loving this look on me and feel so much better not worrying about coloring it all the time.

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